Hot Hatches - A Few Blasts From The Past

The recent "Hot Hatches - Where Are They Now?" infographic, and Mike Gates's Fiesta ST piece, brought a big grin to my face as I remembered driving so many of them during my road testing days, especially in the late 80s and early 90s when car makers were all trying to outdo each other with pocket rockets, some of which were rather milder than it said on the tin, some were fairly described, and a few, perhaps fortunately only a few, were awesome and terrifying in equal parts, the latter group usually those with the most hefty price tags.

Clio V6 in its second phase 255 guise 

Wandering back down memory lane, I well remember driving the Renault V6 Clio, and following a certain J Clarkson on the high speed switchback at the motor industry's top secret testing ground. The Clio was an extremely potent hot hatch, and it easily kept up with Jeremy in a Lotus. Thoroughly race engineered by Renault's F1 magicians, well setup and great fun to drive, every curve an adventure any tiny bit of straight an invite to a foot down blast. Few were sold and they're now rare as hen's teeth. I've probably only seen one on the road in recent years. (According to HowManyLeft.co.uk , there are only 68 on the road... with 91 SORN.)

Renault 5 Turbo 1982 at Retromobile 2017

Renault 5 Turbos were more affordable but a bit of a curate's egg. Some of the iterations were really quite exotic, and worked and did their stuff well. A lot of thrills for the money. Then, like the later Golf GTIs, they suffered the dreaded bloat where they simply got too big, too heavy, and, despite engine upgrades, too slow. Civilised perhaps but ultimately quite dull.

The Ford "Racing" Puma, converted by Tickford

The Ford "Racing" Puma, by Tickford, really was a curious and rare beast with an unusual recipe. Take a standard Puma, fairly quick straight out of the box. Lighten it everywhere. Add loads of carbon fibre in place of the standard steel panels. Give it a race car interior.... Bizarrely, it was, on paper, no quicker than a standard Puma, BUT it handled like a race car, gripped like it was on slicks, and covered ground at an extraordinary rate, far faster than its factory brother, over any twisty bit of tarmac.

 

Ford have long been a major force in the hot hatch market, but lower down on my favourites ranking was the Fiesta XR2. They sold in their millions, and you still see plenty around (though only about 700 according to HowManyLeft) but I could never see what all the fuss was about! As I see it, its only virtue was it was fashionable because it was affordable... but in performance terms it was a bit ho-hum. (That'll get the correspondence going!)

Ford Escort Cosworth

A very different beast from the house of Ford was the Escort Cosworth. I drove one when they first appeared, doing 5 laps of Silverstone GP circuit in it. It had been carefully explained to me beforehand it was twitchy being intended solely as the basis of what proved to be a very successful rally car. From the very first corner it was an absolute handful, like riding a bucking bronco. It gripped, it turned from understeer to oversteer in an instant, it had a staggering amount of power that switched on and off with the blink of an eye and brakes that allowed later and later entry to every corner every lap. It raised the hairs on my neck and flooded me with adrenaline and I loved every second of the all too brief experience.

Having been a bit unkind to the Golf GTI earlier, I do remember two Volkswagens that are fairly rare, one of which nearly cost me my license.

VW Polo G40

The Polo G40 was a supercharged demon. It just about defines the term 'pocket rocket', fast, agile and very very easy to exceed 70mph, as I found out to my cost in points and fine.

VW Golf Rallye G60

Equally as exciting was the Golf G60, supercharged, again, temperamental perhaps, but very quick in a straight line.

Jimmy McRae and Ian Grinrod (MG Metro 6R4) on the 1986 RAC Rally

Not exactly on general sale, and I only ever had one all too brief drive of one, the MG Metro 6R4 was a hot hatch to end all hot hatches. A 'Group B' rally car of which there were a handful of road going versions, it was staggering in every area, went like a Tomahawk missile, braked like hitting a brick wall and had extraordinary road-holding. A true supercar in a very small package with a Formula 1 heritage. It was mind blowing in its intensity.

OK, so I've missed out lots of 'hot hatches' that mean a lot to quick car fans... Offerings from Vauxhall and Peugeot that were very successful, but didn't really do enough for me, didn't stir my loins like those I have included.

I will end with 2 observations... For a purely emotional response anything with an Abarth plate deserves serious attention, just be prepared to spend the original purchase price each year in keeping it running, but it'll be worth it. I remember from many years back, an 850 Fiat Abarth that when it went it just blew everything off the road.

Oh, and of course the Mini... Not the lard-ass monster we now see everywhere as bloated shopping trollies, even as police cars, but the 60s original. Technically not a hot hatch, but the 1275 Cooper S was tiny, cramped, and uncomfortable, with an unforgiving ride, but you drove one with a huge, inane, grin constantly planted on your face. They're still magic to drive. Like the Italian Job, the first film was wonderful, the remake simply awful. 

In closing I must acknowledge a rarely mentioned old friend.

NOT the Benge's daily transport!

The Toyota Corolla 16 valve, is a personal favourite, and my wife's daily transport for a few years from new. Basically a back to front MR2, it was quickly possessed, with very capable handling. We sprinted it a few times at Goodwood in standard road spec and it gave us both a lot of fun... and was utterly utterly reliable. I've only seen one in recent years. Much missed we regretted selling it. 

So, not a definitive review of 'ot 'atches wot i 'ave drove, but a few of those that have stuck in my memory banks for nearly three decades. Quite literally a few blasts from the past.

Graham Benge

An electric future dawns in Geneva

It’s a funny one.... For those of us out there who deem ourselves to be true petrolheads, electric cars have always been a pub-banter punch line. Milk floats, mobility scooters and short range wheezy abominations like the God-awful G-Wiz.

Truth is though, times, they are a-changing and it’s not just the sock-and-sandal, vegan bearded types with an aversion to soap that Electric appeals to. Actually; so my ten year old neighbour tells me, there is nothing cooler than a Tesla. It’s not just because we are constantly beating environmental ideals into the youth of today, and rightly so, but more what they can do. 

In terms of looks, the Model S isn’t exactly radical, lost between Jaguars on the motorway, but the Model X with its gull wing doors, and flat faced front end, is a different matter entirely.

At home amongst the legion of SUV crossovers and MPVs it’s different enough to be obvious but too bulky to be sexy.

None of this is important though really. It’s what it can do that counts.

Tech, of course, is important. Buyers choose cars based on phone connectivity, and the likes of Tesla deliver. The iPad-esque centre stack is smart and uncluttered if not the best for eyes-on-road motoring; assuming you aren’t letting autopilot do its thing.

Tesla’s ace card though is its speed. It’s not quick by electric car standards.... It’s quick by supercar standards!

The combustion engine suddenly looks rather old fashioned, and here’s the rub. I love the sound and feel of an engine. The buzz you get with crackles and pops on lift off, the sonorous growl of a V8, the baleful shriek of a V12 or the whine of a Supercharger. I’m going to miss it. 

The silence by comparison is eerie, but the instant wave of power and perception of speed is somehow amplified, a slingshot of torque pushing you in the back as you silently disappear into the distance. An electric motor punches from standstill and assuming you can get the power down, and the juice to supply it...and now we can... the possibilities for electric propose that the fast petrol-engined cars of today could end up looking like the lawnmowers of tomorrow; built as a novelty rather than a serious proposition. Once again, it’s speed that’s made the car sexy. 

For all my nostalgia though, I don’t begrudge the electric car. Yes, it’s taken a while to get there, but despite a rough start, tech has meant that even entire race series are a viable proposition and it’s no wonder there’s so many here at Geneva rocking Duracell. 

My twenty year old self would be shocked to hear me say it, but it is hybrid that gives me the biggest buzz. I’m not talking Prius, I’m talking P1; I’m thinking the use of electric motors cascading into hot hatches, torque vectoring and KERS-like boost, unlimited range and reasonable economy, but still with some noise. In the wake of diesel-gate it offers real world possibilities and that’s no joke.

From where I’m stood though the future seems to be both autonomous and electric, although there’s plenty of exotica on display here and more than one vision of the future.

Icona Nucleus

Perhaps one of the boldest is the Icona Nucleus, more living room than car. It’s a beauty this, designed to be focused around the occupants rather than just designed to seat them; looking more like the inside of a high end yacht. Its roomy too, really roomy – you could practically wonder around in the space, but it is the seating arrangement, all facing inwards that define the car. There are no controls, a shuttle to take you from A to B and onwards without the bother of driving.

A “self-driving living room, a luxury car, made more affordable by being able to do more for more people”, Samuel Chuffart, Icona’s Design Director, told us. With the need for a traditional cockpit absent, the car can pick-up the kids from school, let you work or sleep whilst commuting and also allow you to connect with each other whilst doing so.

Icona's Samuel Chuffart

The outside, bold as it is with its incredible clam door, somehow finds itself as a secondary concern, plucked as it is from Sci-Fi futurism (See Demolition Man, I Robot and so on). It should be quick though, with motors powering each wheel pushing nearly 150bhp each and travelling over 700 miles between charges/refuels thanks to a trick hybrid hydrogen/electric system – assuming the road network and other cars can deal with this new-found power, we could well find ourselves getting to where we need to be faster and with as much convenience as your personal chauffeur driven pods can provide.

As much as I love the concept, and I do, there will undoubtedly be times when you find yourself wanting to take the wheel. Let’s face it, the boring motorway commute hardly stimulates the senses in the same way as threading your way through the Swiss mountains.

This poses another question for cars of the future.

Considering we could conceivably find ourselves within the next decade the weak-link in an otherwise precisely calculated computer-powered chain, what happens when analogue, lead footed chunks of meat want to take the wheel for old times’ sake?

Toyota's Concept-i

Toyota, presenting a range of futuristic tech seem to have the answer, “Manual Mode” appearing on the front of the AI empowered ‘Concept I’.

Although we’ve become accustomed to the vast range of accessible Toyota hybrids (thankfully in regular looking cars as well as Prius), other manufacturers seem slow in coming to the party. So, with a trio of cars it’s Volkswagen that raised more than a few eye-brows at Geneva.

I.D. Buzz

I.D. Vizzion

Showcasing the ‘I.D.’ range, again electric and autonomous – with an anticipated launch date of 2022 the VAG platform uses a common chassis/battery/drivetrain architecture allowing a range of flexible body styles alongside 400+ mile range. Whilst the majority of the automotive press clambered over the newly revealed ID Vizzion, it was the Buzz that caught my eye; rocking a thoroughly retro Camper Bus style that added it to my ever-growing ‘want’ list.

VW Golf GTI in race spec

Standing on the VW stand, suddenly the juxtaposition of other more ‘traditional’ cars seemed remarkably old fashioned, such as the sublime Golf GTI. Somehow, despite being real they seemed to be less relevant. Yes, we need better infrastructure, and, yes, the tech is only in its infancy, but standing there looking across the exhibition I felt like a man clinging on to my Walkman at the dawn of the iPod age.

For now though at least there is room for a grinning, lump of human hanging on to a steering wheel behind a bellowing V8, but make no mistake Electric is now right in the rear-view mirror and it won’t be long before it’s pushing for an overtake.

Michael Gates

GIMS 2018 - Volkswagen's ID Buzz concept

With a production version of the ID Buzz due to be with us by 2022, this all electric re-working of the iconic VW Camper is sure to turn a few heads...

Modern look of traditional hot hatch

For those who enjoy a more traditional hot hatch. #GenevaMotorShow pic.twitter.com/ZmuMPXlkPb

— UKMotorTalk (@ukmotortalk) March 6, 2018

ID Buzz concept... Looks familiar...

Unquestionable deign queues from the classic VW Camper with the ID Buzz concept. pic.twitter.com/cKSKrpNeIF

— UKMotorTalk (@ukmotortalk) March 6, 2018

UP! at the top of the charts.

The Volkswagen UP! (their exclamation mark, not ours..), the Seat Mii, and Skoda Citigo have garnered another trophy by winning the inaugural....

....MoneySupermarket Car of the Year Competition

This is a new annual competition where some of the most highly-qualified and knowledgeable motoring experts on the Web are asked to vote for what they believe to have been the 10 best cars of the past 12 months and UKMotorTalk was delighted to be chosen by MoneySupermarket to be one of the websites selected to help judge the competition.

Each judge’s nominations were awarded a score between 1 and 10, with their top vehicle being given 10 points and their 10^th nomination being awarded a single point. MoneySupermarket then collated all of the results and came up with a definitive top 10 which best represented the opinions of the overall motoring community.

The UP!, Mii and Citigo were a universally popular choice thanks to their stylish design and fuel-efficient nature, but they only just narrowly pipped the impressive BMW 320d to overall honours by a meagre two points.

The Range Rover Evoque was a strong third, proving to be another popular choice with judges thanks to its trendsetting styling which is something of a radical departure for Land Rover. And, in the interests of transparency, it was also the top choice of the team here at UKMotorTalk.

Perhaps the Range Rover’s failure to obtain overall top spot owes more than a little to the rising price of fuel at the pumps, which has resulted in fuel efficiency proving to be an increasingly important area of differentiation and one on which many of the judges appeared to place a greater emphasis.

Overall though, German manufacturers dominated the competition, picking up more than double the amount of points of the Japanese car brands who were a distant second.

British brands ranked a respectable third, owing largely to the popularity of the Range Rover Evoque and the radical new Vauxhall Ampera which came in 6^th. Vauxhall was the most popular British manufacturer in terms of points accumulated in 8^th place with 4 separate Vauxhall vehicles having been nominated for inclusion by judges.

MoneySupermarket have produced the following infographic highlighting the overall top ten in what it hopes will turn out to be an annual competition:

Image source: MoneySupermarket Car Insurance

So, congratulations to Volkswagen, Seat and Skoda on this strong showing for their new baby - It’ll be interesting to see whether the trend next year continues to reflect the ever-increasing popularity of frugal little cars such as the UP!

UKMT